Book Reviews by Pastor Will
Just to give a brief intro, the Adult Education Committee thought it might be fun if I gave book reviews for the Grapevine we could also have on the church website. We want to not only help you see what could be a great read for you, but also give you insight into what one of your pastors is reading! We hope this is a blessing for you!
The Peacemaker by Ken Sande
When I was browsing the Westminster Seminary Bookstore online (as I often do), I came to find out that Westminster Seminary offers their students a class on church conflict and peacemaking in church settings. I was amazed (and a bit envious) that they would have a class on such an important topic. I was opened up to a whole series of books they sell on the subject, with the most prominent one being The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict by Ken Sande. I quickly purchased this along with a few others they recommended: The Peacemaking Church by Curtis Heffelfinger and The Peacemaking Pastor: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Church Conflict by Alfred Poirier (who is also the professor of the course). I haven’t read the books by Heffelfinger or Poirier just yet, but I wanted to at least read Sande’s book.
The Peacemaker begins by dispelling the myth that all conflict is bad and should be simply ignored. He explains the opportunities it brings for growth and strength in a church. At the same time, in a time where division and opposition is too common, we must always strive for peace. This striving means seeking after God’s will and not our own. When confronting conflict, we must first examine if it’s worth the confrontation or if it’s something to let go. If it is not damaging to a person’s faith and is not sinful by nature, it’s best to avoid confrontation. However, in times where confrontation must be made, one must first examine oneself. Take the log out of your own eye, Sande quotes Christ. Sande then uses Matthew 18:15-17 as the framework for how we proceed with resolving conflict with an individual. He is specific to examine when we’re at fault or if it’s the other person, as well as in times where we begin one-on-one and when it’s time to immediately jump to getting church leaders involved. He concludes with the concept of forgiveness, caring for the other person, and in cases where the individual refuses to repent, how to continue loving such a person.
It’s a benchmark book for church conflict for a reason. He does a fantastic job defining and understanding the nature of conflict in Part 1. Part 2, which examines which conflicts are worth engaging with, is important for every Christian to read. Personally, when it comes to part 3, he is a little idealistic with how situations will progress and how people will respond: I have found that rarely do people respond so “cleanly,” so to speak. However, it’s still very beneficial. Finally, I took some issue with Part 4. He seemed to use the least amount of Scripture here, and his reasoning seemed incredibly shaky. He takes the stance that we must forgive a person wholesale: if a person repents, we must never consider the former sin again. This sounds nice until you consider sex offenders and murderers and those dealing with addictions. Yes, we forgive a sinner seven times in one day if he comes to us seven times to repent. However, by then we keep that person away from the situation that is leading him to sin! Sande forgets that though God forgives our sins and the “ultimate consequence” of sin (that is, death and separation from God’s love), we are not spared from the “immediate” consequence of sin. If I overindulge in food, and immediately repent, does that mean I will not have a severe stomachache anymore? No! Does that mean I should be allowed to be around buffets if I have a history of overindulgence? Of course not! Sande fails to take this into consideration, which is dangerous for churches dealing with sex-offenders and addicts who need to be told, “we forgive you, but we are not going to put you in a situation again where you can hurt others or yourself.”
Overall, if you read the first three parts of the book, you’ll find a fantastic book. The fourth part is incredibly rough in my opinion, and the glaring oversight is too distracting to approve without a warning. He at least examines whether or not there should be consequences like court cases and lawsuits, but it still fails to account for what I previously mentioned. If interested, go to wtsbooks.org to support the seminary or go to Amazon (sometimes Westminster sells it cheaper). If you want a book that examines church conflict on a more historical level, I recommend When Christians Disagree: Lessons from the Fractured Relationship of John Owen and Richard Baxter by Tim Cooper. Cooper examines how otherwise amazing men of God fall for the same problems we do. He reviews what shaped their views and strong opinions, how that can shape ours as well, and uses the relationship between Owen and Baxter to review how we should handle disagreements differently. He’s light on Scripture, but it follows a more realistic approach to how conflict usually goes, and it has some great discussion questions after each chapter. When I get around to the other books on church conflict, I’ll be sure to let you all know how those books are.
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